How on Earth do these two things correspond? No, it’s not that we’re up late every night getting it on, though, wouldn’t that be nice, it’s mostly my anxiety that keeps me from sleeping too deeply most nights.
Let me explain.
A year ago I went on a date with the man who is now the love of my life. On our first date I found out that he was a type 1 diabetic. It was on this same date that I experienced my first ever low blood sugar incident.
Since that day I have come to realize just how involved this disease really is. Every day has involved research on Type 1, reminders to test glucose levels, behavior monitoring, insulin alarms, test strips found in random places like couch cushons, terms like A1c, numbers numbers and more numbers. It can consume your every move, if you let it.
In my experience, diabetes can do the same thing to the supporters and caregivers as well, it's not just the "patient" who is so deeply affected by this disease.
Which, essentially, is why I'm here. Being a caretaker, supporter and lover of a man who has been a type 1 diabetic for 20+ years, it can be a struggle to cope at times. I'm a talker, so when when I've got something on my mind, it's gotta come out of my mouth - or, in this digital age, fingers works as well. You know, like this blog.
The things that worry and stress caregivers are often the things they can't exactly talk about with the person with the disease.
Sometimes I'm frustrated, sometimes I'm scared, sometimes I just want to run away and hide.
And sometimes, I just want to sleep alone so that I'm not up all night worrying that his odd sleeping behavior is low blood sugar related.
Thing is, none of this has anything to do with the man I love, it's just feelings about the disease. However, talking about it with him would only lead to alienation, making him feel as if he's a burden.
He's not.
So for all those caregivers and people with partners who have Type 1, or other similar diseases, I want to welcome you to a place where you can discuss, comment, read about or just admire from afar the life of another caregiver.
Welcome to my blog. No, our blog. Let the communication begin!
I should ask my wife for tips- she sleeps through my lows even if my Dexcom is buzzing and beeping at me. We've been together a bit over 3 years, and I've been diabetic for all but 4 months of that time. I can't remember the last time it affected her sleep. So maybe there's hope for you on that front. Of course, sometimes I wouldn't mind just a LITTLE recognition that something might be going wrong...
ReplyDeletewelcome to the d-blogging world. hope it helps you as much as it has me, and many others.
Sisiay - thanks for the warm welcome. Type 1 diabetes is still a whole new world to me, even after having been so involved for the past year. My boyfriend is uninsured, so things like Dexcom don't exist in our lives, everything is manual. He's very active, so sometimes it's a guessing game. I'm just happy for those weeks or even months when we can get by without a visit from the local paramedics at 3 am because of a crash. Of course, that still doesn't keep me from sleeping lightly and being on high alert most nights...it's my nature I guess :)
ReplyDeleteWhile my husband does not suffer from this type of disease, or anything similar really, the illness he does have affects my life in an extremely similar way. It's comforting to know that while the diseases are different, our emotional responses are not. Thank you for starting this very real and very human blog.
ReplyDeleteP.B. - so glad you found me here! Caretakers of any kind share a common bond I've come to realize. The issues we deal with are different from those with the actual diseases so it can be difficult to talk with them about the feelings that we have. Hopefully we can all find a place here to chat and bounce ideas off one another. Welcome to my blog!
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